Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Formal Photos - You Mad?

Walters' Rageface
St Pat's student Rebel Walters has been the subject of much attention recently after the discovery of her 'rageface' from a photo posted facebook. The image in question was originally posted on facebook on the 4th of August by Walters herself, but it took until early this week untill it gained any attention.

"I was just browsing through my facebook photos when I stumbled across this photo of her and I," said student Liam Breen, "and I noticed that her face was really scary, I linked it to my friend Adrian and he worked his magic with it."

The photo posted by Adrian Smith has spurred speculation as to what it is that Miss Walters was making that face about. "She's probably mad at Liam," said witness Tate Corfield, "Look at the coolface he's pulling, he's practically saying: you mad?"

In a response to the comment made by Mr. Corfield, Liam Breen stated that "I totally didn't coolface on purpose, but come to think of it, I do recall feeling a burning feeling on my face, probably cause by how angry Rebel was."

Leading analysts however have found that Rebel was not, in fact, looking at Breen in the photo. Photo analysist A. Smith stated in a report that "Walters is clearly not looking at Liam, our advanced photo analysing techniques show that Walters is looking past Liam, possibly at the roof."

In further speculation as to the source of Rebel's anger, Breen stated that "Maybe she was looking at the roof because there was an invading ninja army, if she was we should all be thankful that she scared them away."

Walters has been praised for saving the school formal from ninjas.

Rebel Walter's rageface was quickly photoshopped onto an image of King Loenidas, further cementing her fame as a classic rageface.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Soundly Slammed - Accident, or Murder?

 A terrible loss occurred this afternoon when St Pat's student, Kaylah Fox, tragically destroyed her own headphones in her car door, although it's not so certain whether this loss was an accident or a crime.
News of the incident first appeared on Facebook in Kaylah's status update stating, 'broke headphones, this is a new record', evoking many sympathetic responses from friends.
Upon questioning about the nature of the accident, Fox stated that 'I was getting into the car with great speed because I had to work and my headphones got around the car door handle and jerked me back effectively screwing them up.'

But senior detective Adrian Smith wasn't as sympathetic. 'I felt that this was no accident, you could see from the damage to the door and the headphones that something wasn't quite right, the story didn't match the scene. Forensics shows that the damage done to the headphones was clearly crush damage, which doesn't match her (Fox's) story at all.'

Fox was taken into custody on suspicion of murder, where her story miraculously changed. Upon further questioning about the headphones Fox reportedly stated that 'it sucks that i actually liked them', while in an interview immediately following the accident Fox stated that 'I don't know if I had them long enough to miss them as much as I should'.

Such contradiction aroused the suspicions of Detective Smith even further, 'I wasn't happy with such a turn around in attitude,' he stated, 'especially now that she (Fox) knows that we're suspicious of her.'

Fox was initially charged with murder, but her charge was then reduced to manslaughter due to criminal negligence. She will serve a sentence of no headphones until she pays a replacement fine.